hello, who are you?

I found something blue and spongy in my ear when I woke up this morning. I could hear it in my dreams. I think it is going to be friends with me.

This is what it said: I have been watching you for a long time. Would you like to go somewhere else? There's a place. You'll need some paranoia to get there. Paranoia is available from all leading retailers and supermarkets in a variety of ergonomically-designed biodegradable containers. It is useful as a propellant, a pesticide, and an unmistakably piquant seasoning for red meats. Try it on steaks. I could get you some paranoia delivered tomorrow by courier. Will you be able to stay at home? The couriers we use won't ship to commercial addresses. It's a 90-day evaluation trial. There's a form and everything. It's from Korea.